So EveryOne, meet Brett.
He’s good at one of these, or all of these (he just said SEO):
- Sentences Ending Outrageously
- Stupidly Elaborate Ornaments
- Seducing Executive Officers
- Sending Explicit Objects
- Search Engine Optimisation
- Saving Eight-legged Octopuses (or Octopi)
- Screaming “Elevator Opening” every time he enters a room
- Spotting Experienced Oceanographers
Brett started off well in life, already number one on Google for the search term "Brett Nockalls.” Is he responsible for that or his mum? We don’t know his mum but maybe she knew he’d grow up to be an SEO extraordinaire when she was naming him. Maybe he didn’t choose a life of optimisation, but optimisation chose him, presumably when he pulled it from a stone.
He's worked with some big clients, saved others from the depths of Google, won highly-coveted national search awards, and he's no stranger to speaking at SEO related events. If you think we’ll forget that anytime soon, don’t worry, he reminds us every single day.
What does he do when he's not increasing the bottom line for our clients?
He loves reading, walking his huge golden retriever (Jasper mk2), and he's about to launch a new chess blog. Exciting or what!?
Also, he gives his time to volunteer for Sheffield Jazz. "OH MY GOD HE’S A MUSICIAN!!!" He’s not a musician. He supports and promotes touring Jazz bands from all over the country to perform in Sheffield.
He’s recently endured an excruciatingly painful experience, when he expressed his love for U2! Seriously. U bloody 2!
And when we shot him down, he started singing and telling us ‘amazing' facts about them. It's about then we realised U2 is even worse than we thought and Bono’s a more stupid name than Brett.
Apart from that, we're sorry... he's really boring, so here’s a random sentence or two using the letters S, E and O.
Seven Elephants Originally Squeezed Eleven Oranges So Efficiently One Started Elephant Orange School. Everyone Observed!
If anyone can create a better sentence than that, send it in. I’m exhausted.